Stop trying to make sense of the title. Things will be clear later.
In spite of my perceived extrovert nature, I have very very small friend circles. Yes, more than one circles that are carefully kept disjoint ;-). Each of them have hardly 3-4 people in them. This arrangement was working fine until a couple of months ago.
Two things happened. The mostly closely knit circle - the Malleswaram gang simply lost its single most binding factor - bachelor hood. 2 of them got married, one left the country (I hear that Indian High Commission in London purportedly *lost* his passport. No chance of him coming back in near future). This has left my week-end calender totally khali.
Secondly, I have started spending long hours at office (for reasons beyond my control). At first I thought I was only getting used to it... early morning and late night commute seemed very attractive in terms of traffic. Slowly I have got addicted to everything at the office... the place, the people, the AC, coffee, Internet, the speakers at my desk, Kennedy's speeches and so on...
Yes, you may say that week-ends are for family. I agree. Its not that I don't like my folks. I have extremely loving and supporting parents. But at this age, my first choice to hang out with are not my parents. More so, ever since the questions about my impending arranged marriage sneaks into every conversation.
The net result is that I have to spend these two days every week cut off from everything I love and avoiding uncomfortable conversations (with people whom I otherwise adore). No wonder I am filled with this scary OF'IF (Oh F***, Its Friday) feeling.
Solutions welcome.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
OF'IF
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4 comments:
Dude, some suggestions -
- Invent a Fictitious Girl-Friend
(FGF). Scare your parents by talking about your FGF. Mention that your FGF is now divorced. This can do one of two things. If you can avoid the obvious one, you will be able to find some peace at home.
- Get an Actual Girl-Friend (AGF). That way, you can actually take _someone_ to dinner on Valentine’s day. Not a _book_.
- Alright, if you can’t do either of the above. Give your parents the go-ahead signal. Interview lots of girls. Convert a few of them into Potential Girl-Friends (PGF), like so: You know, tell the candidate that you already had an AGF (although, its really an FGF). But that you just broke-up. Say its too soon for a serious relationship. Your parents are forcing you this interview. Most likely she’ll be in the same position. And there you have it – it’s a short step to getting a PGF and if you really like her, an AGF. Remember to lose the book if you take her out though.
@Anon ;-)
[I know what you did last summer, he he he]
Great!! Looks like all hopes of having a life outside office revolve around having a GF (of any kind F, P, A...). However, FGFs are only creations in my own mind - without any participation of the GF ;-). Very easy. Contrary to your argument, they will not keep me out of office. On the other hand a PGF is real and with that comes real life problems... Life could get pretty stressed out if you get stuck in the PGF phase for too long ;-) Especially if you feel that P of the GF is so good... almost bordering on being Dream Girl Friend (DGF)... or just a DG or just as perfect as a Dream :-))
Would 'The Wise One' please elucidate on how to deal with a PDGF and finally (hopefully) convert to AGF?
How about pursuing all your hobbies or invent some interesting new ones?
Oh, I know you are doing that already..the running, sports and other things.
Aahhmmm...not sure why you ask for suggestions when you ARE deciding the best for yourself.
All the hassles of dealing with 'being-bugged-with-marriage-topics' comes a package to all 'normal' people at one age.So, relax maadi...Or..better still, give way to the words of your dear folks at home and oblige. :-)
Life's not THAT bad after all.
En maga!
I completely agree with you about how the mwm group is losing cohesiveness. I'd written about this at
http://anandanubhava.blogspot.com/
2006/09/times-they-are-changin.html
I feel the isolation with wife only cannot continue for too long for all these folks. There will come a time when as I was suggesting, the wives socialize among themselves & the guys among their group & of course, everybody together too! Until that happens, its for you & me to make it happen - friendships will just die.
I have some friends who after marriage continue to socialize & meet up, its a larger circle not an extinction of a small circle!!
Also, disjoint groups isnt always good - there will always be some mutual common interests among ppl. Thru 1 of my friends I've developed good contacts with 3-4 of his friends all coz he didnt keep groups disjoint! It should rather be an expanding circle..
No wonder ur blogging a lot more these days :-)
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